The Glitch

a sudden instance of malfunctioning or irregularity in an electronic system. ~The Free Dictionary

The brain is not unlike an electronic system, yes? What happens when the brain is operating at optimal functioning, and then suddenly. . . glitches? Think of the mind, rather than a brain, and think of consciousness, rather than mind. Now, imagine a glitch within this ELECTRON-ic system. What happens? What occurs? What goes on ‘inside’ that consciousness as it is affected by some ‘outside’ source? [NOTE: use of the terms ‘inside’ and ‘outside’ are, we are aware,  deliberately arbitrary, but necessary for proper illustration.]

 1962, Amer.Eng., possibly from Yiddish glitsh “a slip,” from glitshn “to slip,” from Ger. glitschen, and related gleiten “to glide” ~Etymology Online

3.58. What is this seemingly innocuous grouping of three digits (Funny that one cannot describe these digits without using digits in the description—what kind of language trap is this?! How can one speak of three without using 3? How to overcome this apparent handicap)? As it appears here, it can mean much of the clock, as in denoting “Time” (but more like appointment; a much better description of so-called Time, is it not? Society breaks up the day into categories applicable not to the day or night—or motions of the sun, really—but only according to some schedule. So, doesn’t that make any group of digits on the clock a matter of appointment rather than some sense of Time or earthly revolutions? The earth does not repeat, why does the clock? Yes, the clock says

it ticks off 24-hours. How does it do that with but 12 numbers times 2. What is this logical game? How is it played? Are we taught times tables so we believe in the clock and appointments? So, we listen to the schedule and forget the motions of sun, earth, galaxy, universe, the beyond? So that we know nothing of synchronicity? So that coincidence becomes magical rather than actual? Alternatively, perhaps a deeper deception. So, that we are ignorant of motion and slave to manipulation, tactic, strategy, and machination. Blindly faithful in a process called O’clock and spawn of Father Time, rather than evolutions of form. Machinations and processes are for the other-minded, the pre-occupied mind bent to the grind and drudgery, the Working Man and the Career Woman. Elements of psychosis both.  A world in which we have never been at home. The world of the whore to consumption and the killer of consciousness). That is how we see “Time”, but that, fortunately, is not our intended meaning of 3.58.

How dependent we are upon symbols! Were I to write 3, 5, 8 as 3:58, then immediately of the clock arises in your mind. If I were to pen 3, 5, 8 as 3.58, perhaps some measurement of scale or weight comes to your mind. And if I were to add the most familiar symbol [in America,] $, before 3, immediately those salient images of money, buy, ‘For Sale’, all arise. That the numbers themselves are symbols is another matter, yes? 3.58 does happen to be monetary, but now maybe you think a small value, spare change even. However, it is far, far more valuable as to be considered priceless, at least to Stephen and myself. We finally obtained debit cards (after many, many years of loathing we care not to explain now) and began using them while out and about rather than carry large amounts of cash. I [Nicole] forgot about a 5AM point of sale transaction as the balance drew nearer to zero, so realized some days later that the $3.58 debited at Dunkin’ Donuts was declined (another Time would be needed to fully explain how this occurred in today’s digital age, but I digress). Panicked, we realized that we must put this straight with Dunkin’ Donuts. We walked 4 miles to the DD as quickly as possible. After explaining what occurred to the manager onsite (he and the other employees at first seemed frightened we had come after some complaint or trouble, but their fears were soon put to rest). He disappeared into a side room, returning moments

later with request that we take a seat, and we waited.  After speaking with the supervising manager (the person that checks the accounts), we were told that the store is insured and with a charge so small, we needn’t repay. This was unacceptable to us! We insisted for many minutes that we pay the $3.58. This left much of an impression upon the owner, as he tried to talk us out of it many times before relenting. We settled, he shook our hands, and insisted that we accept an offer of a complimentary donut or muffin. We thanked him and left.  We left relieved, our minds at rest.

What does this mean? When a computer is to carry out instructions, it travels from one and zero and to another zero and one, and vice versa. Well, the glitch is more like the computer incapable of moving to the next zero and one because the previous zero and one is absent, or corrupted, or jammed up in some way. The corrupted or missing information must first be returned, repaired, or found before anything else can be done. This is why we will walk however many miles to correct a discrepancy. In the case of $3.58, it is not about money, you see, or the apparent pecuniary value. It is also not out of fear of trouble or hassle, law, authority, or some other such abstraction, it has nothing to do with fear at all.

Think of this: order out of disorder, fractalisation, lateralus, nonlinearity, nonduality in a dualistic system, unlogic (not logic although appears very similar), not ethical, but appears highly ethical, not about morals although appears to be highly moralistic, more about a sense of truth, but not in the sense of morals, altruism, philanthropy, ethics, standards, logic, or even philosophy

(more because truth is the closest concept able to describe the necessity of avoiding gaping holes in thinking). The utter need to correct a mistake, the need to rectify a miscalculation, the need to redeem one’s sense of consciousness. And this not in the same sense as righting a wrong, for there is no belief in the ultimate right or the absolute wrong, it is not a pursuit of righteousness, or an effect of conscience. Conscience has nothing to do with it; although, there is an utter motivation, an immediacy to rectify the mistake, a compulsion, this is not the same as “The Little Voice inside Your Head” or the Voice of Conscience, the proverbial angel on one side and devil on another. It is more like glitch in a code (no, not a code of ethics, must your mind wander so easily?), as in a computer system (and no, I do not mean to liken our minds to that of a computer; I am merely using this as the best analogy for an otherwise inexplicable intangible).

Perhaps, more examples are necessary. We invite you to step inside our minds just a little farther. Around 1990, Stephen attended a technical school and had perfect attendance, I had perfect attendance throughout high school, and we both received certificates for perfect attendance because we can’t miss anything. When we make an error, it is catastrophic. When Stephen was on parole, he went to over 300 appointments without missing a single one. When there is a misdeed, there is a compulsion to expose it, you see. I once spilled coffee onto a comic I borrowed from the library  I was about to return, I immediately told the librarian upon arriving at the library what I had done and that I was more than willing to pay for the damage no matter what the cost. We admit all this to illustrate that The Glitch is not a matter of guilt. We are very upfront about mistakes we make and adamant about our exactitude.

This is origin as to why we can’t deal with bureaucracies and incompetence, and most people in general. That our minds work like this makes it difficult to deal with people, whether in communication or otherwise. I often construct what I am going to say before I open my mouth and will deliberate for weeks, days, hours, months, years before I speak it to make sure that my meaning cannot be misconstrued in any way. It’s part of the reason why I am often called so quiet. It also makes it difficult for us to lie, because the lie causes a schism in our minds. Every decision has to be analyzed and all information must be analyzed, several times in multiple ways. We have had multiple conversations at length (as many as seven hours at a time) analyzing something before we embark upon it, etc., so much so that our doctors have dubbed it “analysis paralysis.” Although, this can be an applicable description, our minds are not exactly paralyzed always by analysis.  Because our minds work in this manner subjects such as mathematics, physics, finance, etc. are very easy to grasp. We are lost, however, to understanding human behavior. Human behavior trips us up all the time, in every way, and every time, to the point that it becomes almost impossible to talk to anyone for very long periods. We were ibasically isolated for 7 years with but one another’s company prior to starting on this adventure of sorts. Only by established patterns can we have any indication of human behavior and that only in groups. On an individual level, our analysis of human behavior collapses completely and we are left confounded.

When one or the other or both simultaneously have a schism, our minds search for any kind of ground to stand on as self-defense, to keep from splitting apart, or shattering. We will analyze how to cross a street or walk on the sidewalk, anything on which to grip and come to conclusion just to keep from frying our minds. We read everything, even in passing so know all kinds of tidbit

information from whatever environment we find ourselves in, even if it has nothing to do with us specifically. We will read anything that we lay our eyes on, even if it seems inconsequential (Stephen has read the phone book many times and I have a knack of reading any and all kinds of signs, it’s one of the reasons that makes it extremely difficult to drive or enter a store for long). We notice everything, entering a store can cause a schism because our minds ultra-aware of our surroundings. I often play Sudoku to affect heavy amounts of concentration in order to detach from all the stimuli. Too much stimulation can also cause a schism, so can too much noise, even from loud voices, so we avoid crowds. It makes being in the city for long almost impossible without developing a migraine or stomachache.

Lest we give too much of a single dimension, this same manner of our minds make it so the forest is a wonderful place of solace. To wake to the sound of the birds in the morning as the sun rises, to hear the leaves bristling on the breeze, or sound of a single bird singing its heart out to the day or another bird, the twittering of the bats in the evening as they feed, the footsteps of the deer in the brush, and the soft sound of the breeze weave our minds into a beautiful tapestry with the forest, the sky. . . the beyond. Trust, we do not pity ourselves (nor do we consider ourselves lucky or succumb to some arrogance); we live as we do, as freely as we can, in a nondualistic world that both harms and embraces.

Welcome to our schizoaffective disorder and order.


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