The Fountain of Life

Perhaps I should be pleased that living is cheaper elsewhere, but I can’t seem to muster the right amount of enthusiasm because I am not enthused. I don’t want to move back into a little box, paying a monthly rent, with neighbors and boring pleasantries; and, yes, I do comprehend that none of this may be real but knowing that does not make the daily grind any easier. It makes it much more difficult. You see because I do not want to talk to the automatons, I don’t want to see them or be effected by them or have them intrude upon me or invade me. I want willfully to ignore them. I don’t even want to see them, hear from them, know that they are around. So, when I must encounter one (and every encounter is a disaster, no encounter is worth the trouble caused) I am angry, repulsed, and disgusted. I want simply to walk away, to cleanse my presence of them, to exorcise this persona dramatis from the environment. And it seems that every avenue taken leads to their lair.

You see, what I want is Quiet. Ceaseless quiet. And the smell of the woods, the smell of cleanliness without their stink and the stench of industry, the repugnance of their carnival zoo. You see, I want to live as an animal, and not as a beast. I want to be Homo Sapiens Sapiens, not Homo Technicus. I want to be unplugged and it seems that I am ever drawn towards living in their world and dealing with them because my mind can grasp abstractions. What a lie! What a shitty deal. To know that you and all else are not real (only realized, see there is a difference. What is real is realized. What has been called Reality is but a realization in the mind, not just manifestation of consciousness—the word manifestation is taken from the same root as manipulation, and is comprised of 2 words, ‘manus-‘ and ‘-festation.’ Its meaning is more like a virus than a thought—but its imagination). Closer to the concept of the biblical god in genesis (oh, so aptly titled)) and yet subject to the same whims of the unwilling and their Gapetto. To know and see the wizards behind the curtain, yet still subject to the wizard’s follies simply because his puppets outnumber you. Oh, the masses. The Horrid, horrible masses. How I loathe them. I didn’t use to. Only in the past five months has this loathing developed. Only since I removed from a little box and the calendar cycle have I seen how horrible are the masses. Oh, how my loathing evolves with each encounter. Lest I am mistaken, I don’t hate them for I do not suffer them. I am no martyr to their monstrosities, but I stand witness, and deem thee pineal mutants. Amen.

Maybe I have spoken too soon (although no less true) perhaps there is redemption in the form of the law. Ah, the law. How strange in the way it works, more like philosophy and physics than any other concept I’ve noticed in that realm. More like woven spells than any other abstraction. I do Love the law, and I Respect it. Although not its Authority (and that it has many) for its ultimate authority, Consciousness, I too Possess (perhaps that is why I can see). I Respect its efficacy, how it works, how it can be used in Oz, or The Matrix. The Matrix is not a bad analogy, for Oz is very much like a grid; at least, that is often how it appears to me. A grid.  A multi-dimensional grid in infinite directions. It’s why I always see tangents, parallels, and perpendiculars; how tessellations are made, and surprises happen. How one can hide in plain sight, and where divinity reigns. So strange, so strange. I never want to go back. Back is like devolving. I have been there and have overcome. I have passed through that gauntlet, and survived to exit the other side, mastered the maze and claimed the prize. To return to little boxes is like rerunning the maze, surrendering the prize; like choosing insanity, like wallowing in madness. Is that not suicide?

“The law of the wise is the fountain of life.” ~Proverbs 13:14


6 thoughts on “The Fountain of Life

  1. I have been spending time in nature due to the warm weather; paying close attention to the patterns of nature; this has caused me to reflect on the differences between nature and human civilisation. Nature are all connected, and the masses are like you say “zombies”. Worse, despite the gift of the ability to break their boundaries, shape their reality and be creatyive; the masses have thrown these gifts away by choosing slavery, separation and being asleep.

    • We, too, pay close attention to patterns of nature; we learn much from nature. No school we have ever attended has come close to what we have learnt by watching nature. The masses are programmed and are controlled because they do not possess a level of consciousness that enables them to be able to See how everybody is nature and connected; that the universe and all its dimensions are seamless. Thus, the illusion of separation and enslavement are easily attached to a sense of self/identity.

      Your connection to nature is quite evident in your great posts on your blog. Thank you for your profound comment/thoughts.

  2. Quite a number of years ago my family of four traveled and we lived out of tents, campers, a travel trailer,(we bought them cheap. so they died quickly) etc., and would stay in the forest most of the time. We learned to forage wild foods, survival skills, and all kinds of wilderness training. My then husband worked temp jobs doing construction when we needed money, and I homeschooled the children in the ‘unschooling’ method. We would get up when the sun rose, and be very busy looking for food etc., and I have to say it was the best part of my life. We did this for about 5 or 6 years, then one year it was getting into the beginning of winter, and it looked like it was going to be a rough one. We thought how awesome it would be to stop traveling for awhile, and be stable. On our last day living in the woods, I promised myself I would never forget the lessons I had learned or lose my deep connection to life. We moved into an apartment, and everything went downhill. Our health became poor, the city children corrupted my children, our cat was murdered by a nutcase who thought black cats were evil, the neighbor children were being severely abused, etc., etc. To this day there is not a one of us who won’t tell you we wish we had never moved back into the city of ‘normalcy’…horrifying.
    I was raised you get to know your neighbors, be a part of society…etc., and I have come to say screw it…I have pretty much nothing to do with my neighbors, and have few people in my life. I have decided one is better off mostly alone than dealing with people who do not want to help themselves, or live in such reality delusions; there can be found no real connection with these people. I do not even talk to my mother on the phone, because she is by far one of the most bad off I know, thinking slave made goods are alright to buy,because it makes the prices cheaper. She is a ‘good’ Christian of course.
    So seriously, if you can avoid moving into the city…at all costs avoid it. Right now I am in a very homey place for a city, still pretty backwards in a lot of ways, but in September I am going to have to move to Denver for my daughter’s new school situation. Unfortunately I have a couple of handicaps at the moment, and it is difficult to live on my own. When I can though, I will return to the rural life, there is nothing better.

    • Those are some of the very reasons we are reluctant to ever move back inside. The openness, quietude, solitude, and meditative contemplation easily acquired while living in the woods and sleeping on the ground are not easily found inside, especially in a city. About 10 to 15 miles outside of an extremely rural town could only be the kind of place we could live inside. Yes, we will never again live in a city, and we avoid the city (downtown area) as well as many people where we are currently located (we live in the woods some miles outside of this city/downtown area), the constant and persistent noise alone drives us into schisms.

      Thank you for the incredible and insightful comment. We both comprehend you fully on such observations. Living outside only intensifies it. We completely agree with you about returning to the ‘normalcy’ as horrifying.

  3. Deep thoughts. Once you are awakened, you can’t really go back to sleep, but you often have to go back to prison. I haven’t yet figured out how to live freely among them. I hate my job so much that being homeless is looking good some days.

    • Yes, it can be very difficult to find peace in the noise and bustle of civilized life. It is a constant journey through levels of consciousness to be able to live in ceaseless quiet among them. Living in the woods and sleeping on the ground is a much simpler way of life.

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